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篇一：搞笑小学英语小品剧本
搞笑小学英语小品剧本《新守株待兔》
人物：农夫，兔子A，兔子B，大树。
农夫：I’m a farmer.（稍停顿）[走两步]A cool farmer.（掏出墨镜戴上）[冷酷地走两步，突然被绊了一跤，继续保持冷酷]Eh...When I was yong,I studied in Xu~~~~chuan Middle School.So, I’m rich now！[开始展示名牌，边说边掏]Look！This is my modern
mobile——Nokia WC 250！This is my watch!This is my MP3!These are my shoes——(夸张低沉地)ADIDAS!This is… [不经意地掏出一个苹果]Oh,sorry.[扔掉苹果]It’s this![从怀里掏出痒痒挠] Do you know what’s this？痒痒挠？No no no~~You are out!!It’s my modern——锄头~！！[看下表] It is time to do some farming！[开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作]
树：I’m a tree!I can do many things!I can sing![做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作，哼哼哈西！！！]I can dance![跳四小天鹅] Oh?There comes a rabbit! [引导观众看兔子A)。树站回后台]
兔子A：OK,I’m a rabbit. Now I’m just walking around here.
[农夫继续锄地，边锄边上场，突然看见前面有个兔子]
农夫：（惊喜地）Lunch！[扔掉痒痒挠]I will catch it！ [偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子后面走]
[农夫跟在兔子后面。两个人走啊走。兔子突然回头。农夫假装看手表。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装看天气。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装打手机。两人继续走，兔子回头。这次农夫冷酷地把枪口对准了兔子。]
兔子A：Wahhhh~!（吓一跳）What do you want?
农夫：Huh…！I will kill U for lunch!
兔子A： Wah~~~~~~ [兔子跑，躲到树后面，农夫追到树前]
农夫：Where~ to go? Haha!
[农夫开了一枪“砰”(配音)。兔子在树后惊慌躲闪，没被打到。树做出受伤中弹状。 农夫又开枪，同上。 农夫开始加快频率，火力密集地开枪。兔子开始时惊慌躲闪，躲着躲着跳起舞来。树继续痛苦中弹状。]
兔子A[自我陶醉中，边跳舞边说]You can't hurt me! You can't hurt me！
树：[痛苦万分地]But…you…Hurt me….[痛苦地慢慢挪动到兔子背后]
[兔子继续兴奋地跳舞。农夫停止开枪，走到兔子面前，看着它。 兔子猛然抬头发现]农夫：Ah ha~! Bye bye ! [举枪对准兔子，开枪，没声音，看看枪，示意没子弹了。兔子见状，非常兴奋地大笑起来]
兔子A：Ha ha ha ha! You can’t kill me now！ [兴奋大笑，笑到抽筋，笑到后仰。突然头撞倒了后面的树] Wa ！[倒地]
农夫：OH! [很兴奋地过去两个手指提起兔子]My lunch , I caught you !!! [把兔子绑到树上。打呵欠]tired! I’ll eat you after sleeping.[倒地睡觉]（打鼾的声音）
兔子A：[兔子很快醒了，看看四周，发现自己被绑了，很惊讶]Where am I? What happened?
树：[指着农夫]He has caught you and wants to eat you.
兔子A：What?! I must leave here! But how can I escape？[东张西望，看到农夫的手机]A mobile![解开绳子去看手机]It’s Nokia WC 250! Wow,how fashion![放回原处。又自觉地把自己绑在树上。 突然想起来]A mobile！Maybe I can call some one to help me！ [又不知不觉地把自己放出来，那起手机][做出打电话的样子] (配音：拨电话) Hello？
兔子B：Hello!It’s Jenny.
兔子A：Hey Jenny！
兔子B：Oh,hey Mary!
兔子A：How are you?
兔子B：Fine,thank you.And U?
兔子A：I’m fine too!How are your parents?
兔子B：They are fine,thank you.And U?
兔子A：They are fine,too!How is your uncle?
兔子B：He’s fine,thank you!And U?
兔子A：He’s fine , too! How…
兔子B：Eh..eh..eh~wait.But why do you call me? If you want borrow some money from me…NO WAY!!!
兔子A：No no no!I’m in danger now!Come and help me!!!
兔子B：But where are you?
兔子A：I’m under a tree!
兔子B：[边打电话边在附近走，经过兔子A面前，两个人还没发现]What can you see around you?
兔子A：I see a rabbit …that looks exactly like you!
兔子B：A rabbit…like me… OK!I’ll find you.Just a second!Wait for me! I will help you!
[匆匆离开]
[兔子A 打完电话，小心翼翼地把手机放回农夫处，然后又很自觉地要把自己绑回了树上]
兔子A：Haha!My friend will come and save me~!yeah! [兴奋过度，后仰，头又撞倒树上,倒地](虚弱地)Oh!Hurt! Call 110~Or 119?112?...Oh,forget it!I’m dying![作喉咙卡住声音，死去]
[兔子B上。]兔子B：I’m also a rabbit！I’m smart! I’m lovely! And I’m (作风情万
种)beautiful! （自我陶醉）[转头看自己右手边，却发现兔子A倒在地上]Oh,my!MaryI’m so sorry,Mary!I’m too late!5555555~~~~~~Mary![痛苦而夸张地转身敲打树]
树：Oh!Oh,don’t hit me.!Don’t hit me!I’m ~~brea~ken![朝地上倒，压倒兔子B]
兔子B：What?NO..NO!~~...I…can’t….breath……(作死了的声音)
[农夫一觉醒来。看见两只兔子] En..?Two rubbits! I rememer I have caught just one?!Oh,thanks god!How lucky I am![兴奋地一手提一只兔子，哼着小曲下场]
篇二：6人英语话剧剧本《逃课》
Skipping Class
6人剧本。《逃课》，绝对适合大学生的剧本，讲述逃课的故事。
Cast
Anita: Never understands why students like to skip classes
p classes but dares not to do it
Jason: Always commits himself not to skip classes
Steven: Always gives himself a good excuse for skipping class
Rita: A professional class skipper
铸造
安妮塔：不明白为什么学生喜欢逃课
P课却不敢去做
杰森：总是把自己不逃课
史提芬：总是给自己一个好理由逃课
丽塔：一个专业课队长
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Scene I
(Anita, Kevin, Ken, Jason, Steven, and Rita are all Tunghai University students. They are good friends. One day, Ken and Jason meet on the way to the classroom.)
Ken: Why are you late? And, you just missed the last class.（安妮塔，凯文，杰森，肯，史提芬，和丽塔都是东海大学的学生。他们是好朋友。有一天，肯恩和杰森相遇在去教室的路上。）
肯：你为什么迟到？而且，你只是错过了最后一班。
（安妮塔，凯文，杰森，肯，史提芬，和丽塔都是东海大学的学生。他们是好朋友。有一天，肯恩和杰森相遇在去教室的路上。）
肯：你为什么迟到？而且，你只是错过了最后一班。Ken: Sure if you give me a good reason why you missed the class. You promised me that you would be in class on time today.
肯：如果你给我一个好理由你为什么错过了上课。你答应我，你今天会准时上课。 Jason: Believe me, I would like to keep my word. The problem is that I have the “Business Management” test today and I was up studying for it till three o’clock this morning. Then I fell asleep and woke up at ten o’clock this morning.
杰森：相信我，我愿意遵守我的道。问题是，我有“企业管理”的考验今天我是学习它直到今天早上三点。然后我睡着了，醒来在早上十点。
Ken: You studied until three o’clock this morning? Why? What did you do yesterday afternoon? I know you were free from four o’clock on yesterday. 肯：你学习到凌晨三点？为什么呢？你昨天下午在做什么？我知道你是免费的从四点昨天。
Jason: Well, I met one of my very old friends on line and we just talked too long…杰森：嗯，我遇见了我的一个老朋友在线和我们聊天的时间太长了? Ken: For God’s sake! Don’t you care about next week’s mid-term examination?
肯：看在上帝的份上！下周你不在乎的期中考试吗？
英语剧本大全
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Scene II
(Anita, Steven and Kevin are talking to one another in front of a classroom. And, Anita is trying to prevent Steven and Kevin from cutting the next class.) 安妮塔，史提芬和凯文正在谈论彼此在教室前面。而且，安妮塔试图阻止史提芬和凯文从切割下一级。）
Anita: Hey, we’ll have the “Business Management” class in a few minutes. Where are you going? Don’t tell me that you are going安妮塔：嘿，我们会有“企业管理”课在几分钟。你去哪儿？别告诉我你要跟杰森争论。 to argue with Jason.
Steven: I will do anything for my good friend. Of course I am going to argue with the guy who gave my good friend a hard time.
史提芬：我会做任何事，因为我的好朋友。当然，我会跟那个给我的好朋友很难。 Anita: You always like to get involved in someone else’s business. You’ll get yourself in trouble. Don’t you know it? ...
安妮塔：你总是喜欢介入别人的事。你会惹上麻烦。你不知道吗？?
Kevin: Anita, don’t be upset with him. He will not listen to you. Just leave him alone. By the way, I am still waiting for your decision. Are you coming with me to the concert tomorrow?
凯文：安妮塔，别跟他生气。他不会听你的。只留下他一个人。顺便说一下，我依然等待你的决定。明天你跟我一起去听音乐会吗？
Anita: Oh, I am sorry that I almost forgot it. What time tomorrow? 安妮塔：哦，我很抱歉，我差点忘了。明天什么时候？
Kevin: Two o’clock. I cannot wait to see my adorable superstar – Jolin. Oh, how wonderful!
凯文：二点。我不能等着看我的可爱的超级巨星–蔡依林。哦。多好啊！ Anita: wait a minute. We have Calculus class tomorrow afternoon. Are you out of your安妮塔：等一等。我们明天下午有数学课。你疯了吗？mind?
Kevin: Well, I’m not. Yet I think we can just copy the notes from someone else.
Anita: No, this is a very important class. And you would never understand it without凯文：嗯，我不。但我认为我们可以抄笔记从别人
安妮塔：不，这是一个非常重要的一类。你永远不会了解它没有听讲座。listening to the lecture.
Kevin: To me it makes no difference. Even if I were in the class I would never understand what the teacher is talking about. Besides, who likes to look at the old baldhead? 凯文：对我来说没有区别。即使我在班上我不理解老师在讲什么。此外，谁喜欢看老秃头？
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Scene III
(After Calculus class, Anita is on the way to the ST building. At the same time, Rita is walking to the ST building from the dorm. They meet in front of the laboratory.) （在微积分课程，安妮塔正前往圣建筑。同时，丽塔走到圣建筑从宿舍。他们满足实验室前面。）
Rita: Here I am. Look, I did what I promised. I am a good girl, not skipping classes. 丽塔：我在这里。看，我做到了我的承诺。我是一个好女孩，不逃课
Anita: What are you talking about? This is the 5th class. You skipped the first four classes this morning. Yesterday you promised that you would not skip any class.
安妮塔：你在说什么？这是第五班。你跳过了今天早上的第一班四。昨天你保证你不会跳过任何班
Rita: Did I? We don’t have any class in the morning but we’re packed in the afternoon on Wednesdays. 丽塔：真的吗？我们没有在上午上课但是我们装在星期三下午
Anita: I beg your pardon? Today is Thursday and we have classes the whole day. Besides, didn’t you meet us this morning while we were going out to class?
安妮塔：请你原谅我？今天是星期四，我们班的一天。此外，你早上没接我们去上课吗？
Rita: I thought you were going to the library.
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Scene IV
(Ken and Rita are talking to each other. They are talking about how to skip a
篇三：英语搞笑短剧剧本
三打白骨精
Three Times’ Beating Monster
人物：T唐僧S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒
J：沙僧
B：白骨精（何平） B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆B3：B变化成的老头 T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?
S: Bajie,map!
E: (摸出，递给S)
S: Look,boss (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）
T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!
E: Oh, boss!Forgive me(伸手拿回)
T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west
E: But……
T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?
E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.
S: Fat Pig!
E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will………. S: You will what(凶相)?
E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).
S: Hm!
T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?
E: You see , boss is hungry,too!
T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!
J: But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away….. T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?
S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）
J: This is…..?
S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!
T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!
S: Bye!(走)
T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》
B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)
B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?
J: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.
B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!
T: Bomb?(打出)
B1: Double King!
T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)
S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)
B1: （倒)Ah……
T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!
S: She is a monster!
T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)
S: Oh,please don’t……
T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)
S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)
T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!
B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆) B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?
T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡) S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)
E&J: Are you Ok, boss?(扶T)
J: Look,(伸食指)how many?
T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)
B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊) S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)
T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives! S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster! T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!
S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》
J: boss, brother Monkey is.......
T: Don't mention that guy any more!
B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)
T: （惊）You are......
B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)
B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......
S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.
T: Wukong?
E: Oh,Brother Monkey!
J: Our hero is back!
T: I,I can't understand......What happened?
S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!
T: How,how did you find out?
S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)
T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声) S: What?
T: I'm sorry.
S: Em? Louder,please?
T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏） (谢幕)
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